'South Park' recap: Redskins Inc.

The episode begins with the boys spouting random assortments of odd words like “pungent crotch sweat” and they just get worse from there. But as it turns out, all these seemingly random phrases have already been used to name start-up companies.
“Boys, there’s more to a start-up company than having a catchy name.” Mr. Marsh tells the kids.

“No, there isn’t.” Stan replies to his father. And in this Kickstarter world, it’s pretty difficult to disagree with him.

And so begins the opener of South Park’s 18th season.

Cartman comes up with the brilliant idea of calling the company the “Washington Redskins,” since after the “court thingy,” the name is now available. And it’s the best name ever!

Of course, the company quickly becomes an overnight Kickstarter success. People just love that name.

But not everybody is in favor of their company’s title—namely Dan Snyder, owner of the NFL team of the same name. Cartman calling his company the “Washington Redskins” makes the team and Snyder feel like a joke, not to mention deeply offended. It’s like he’s making fun of their heritage! But Cartman assures them that the name is out of of deep appreciation and admiration for Snyder’s “people.” Sound familiar? Didn’t think so.

And Cartman has a totally legitimate excuse for keeping the name anyway: “We can’t change the name of the company, because it’s like super-hard.”

But Kyle has a conscience and decides to start a new company called “Furry Balls Plopped Menacingly on the Table,” a name that won’t offend anyone. Stan joins him and then leaves when he decides he doesn’t like this company name either. He insists, “A start-up company should never have seven words in its title.”

Snyder visits Commissioner Goodell, whose voice is brilliantly provided from actual sound clips from the games, for help with the whole name fiasco.

“That’s the most ridiculous nothing answer I’ve ever heard!” Snyder gets no help from Goodell, who turns out to be a robot. So he turns to the NFL team owners. They decide to make Cartman’s company change their logo. But when that solves nothing, it is time for Snyder’s Plan B:

Snyder birdcalls the Redskin football players into the Kickstarter office, and they completely destroy the place and burn it to the ground.

Cartman kicks in Kyle’s door and accuses him of breaking Kickstarter, until Stan comes in, and they realize that “Washington Redskins” was actually the perfect name. Now, people can use their new company, “Go Fund Yourself,” and every time they give the Washington Redskins 5 percent for doing absolutely nothing.

Meanwhile, the football players on the Redskins are not feeling much team spirit.

“I just feel stupid wearing this now,” a player says as the entire team quits. So, left with no team, Snyder plays the Cowboys himself. They continuously tackle him play after play.

“Just stay down, for the love of God!” The crowd yells as Snyder gets more and more mangled. Finally, he is massacred.

The boys are sitting in their company office when an angry mob comes by, demanding they change their name after what happened with the “once proud nation who finally lost hope They’re talking, of course, about the football team and Snyder, and will be boycotting the boys’ company until they change their name.

So what are the boys to do now that they have lost their company?

“I guess we’ve gotta go back to school,” Cartman says. Looks like next week will see the return of the boys’ adventures in South Park Elementary.